A couple days ago, the New York Times published an interesting article about a "Mormon Woman's Choices". Ms. Hardy shares with her readers about the challenges she faced when she was a practicing Mormon living a Single life. I was sad to read that she felt pitied, judged and left out of Mormon Society. Life is short, and it's terrible she's lived her life feeling that way...so my heart goes out to her and in some ways, I do get it.
But I don't think it's a completely accurate view of life in the LDS church...at least not my life (and many other Single Mormons). I do not feel pitied, judged or left out. Over the last 2 years I attended a single's ward where our ages ranged from 17-37 and I was right in the middle of it all. I felt like I belonged. During that time, I also had the privilege to get to know other LDS members in the familly wards from children to the elderly. I taught early morning seminary, invited the old and the young to participate in all the musical programs I put on, and planned side by side with other adults as we put together a bona fide Passover meal in the community and stake. Both the YSA and family wards made me feel
very valued and important. And if I don't fit into a community? Well that's the beauty of single life...I am free to move somewhere else!
Ms. Hardy wrote that her dating pool of mormon men was quite small and "The leftovers were left over: closeted gay men, porn-addicted virgins, along with the merely awkward, uncompromising and unlucky" What? Times have CHANGED. I see more and more amazing and attractive LDS singles that choose, for various reasons of their own (of which are
not the reasons stated above) to marry in their late 20s or 30s-unlike what once was the Standard Mormon Marriage Cliche. Am I that old Cliche Single Female Mormon? No!!☺I actually think that I am attractive, talented, intelligent, not socially awkward, emotionally stable...and really quite lucky. Practically perfect in every way. Ok fine. I'm not Mary Poppins (as awesome as that would be)...but some parts of me are pretty spectacular!
I read the article's comments, many of which displayed bitterness towards the pressure to be perfect in the Mormon Culture. The imperfect Culture is different from Doctorine and therefore ought to be separated. But I know that can be hard sometimes. However, I have never felt pressure to be perfect or depression as I am taught the truths of the Gospel...those negative feelings are not any part of what I have come to feel of the Spirit. Rather it is Inspiring and Uplifting.
I've had many conversations with guys outside of my faith that have asked me if I ever wonder that I'm wasting my life away in my commitment to follow the LDS lifestyle. I've considered it...and I can somewhat relate to Ms. Hardy's words. But rather than being "trapped in adolescence", it still amazes me how how much I continue to grow and mature, even from a few months ago! It seems this lifestyle is more liberating rather than restricting. I have come to realize that the Gospel of Jesus Christ and all that goes with it is a true source of life for me. It is what makes me the most happy ☺ I know these teachings come from a God who loves us and wants us to be happy and successful in our lives.
Of course my voice can't be heard as well as in the New York Times, but hey...I've now passed the 1,000 mark of pageviews for my blog! So some people are reading it. Quite the small number compared to the Times...but still, I just wanted to share a different perspective from another female single mormon. Thanks!
